COME TE QUASI NESSUNO MAI.
********
In quel tempo il Sommo Profeta Gangarozzo, dispensatore di saggezza a cinque sesterzi al chilo, si trovava a percorrere le vie della Galilea, ormai deserte a cagione del famoso Carognavirus che aveva flagellato i villaggi di quella ridente vallata cui era nome, originariamente, di
Vallata di Salonippo e che, successivamente, in onore di uno dei funzionari dell'impero sui quali era l'onere di combattere l'epidemia in corso, fu denominata "La Pianura di Brusafièrro".
Il Superno Profeta attraversò le deserte lande e le silenziose vie munito di mascherina Anticarognavirus idonea a coprirne la rugosa fùngia e i lineamenti del consunto viso. Lungo il percorso da nessuno fu riconosciuto, come le altre volte del resto, in quanto la popolarità dei protagonisti di un pocràmma tevilisivo condotto in terre lontane da una sacerdotessa con la voce attìpo Mario Biondi, alla quale era nome Maria Defilippis, aveva definitivamente oscurato la debolissima fama del medesimo Profeta.
Giunto nel millàggio cui era il nome di "Millaggio di Bonfilao", il Sommo Dispensatore di Inutili Consigli si addormentò su una lignea panca, che era già sera, e niuno si aggirava per le vie (nè mai alcuno avrebbe aperto la porta della propria abitazione, laddove tutti stavano intartaràti per terrore della corrente epidemia).
Il Sommo Profeta fu svegliato alle prime luci dell'alba dal Discepolo Cazzone, che fece toc toc sulla spalla dell'anziano e sgarrupato profeta. Essendo Cazzone, come gli altri discepoli presenti, muniti tutti di benda che copriva le sembianze facciali, il Superno fu colto da sbotamènto di stomaco, durato alcuni minuti, che gli fece anche temere l'immediato abbandono di questa terra fertilizzata dalle lacrime degli uomini e degli animali sofferenti.
Il Discepolo, quando tutti si ripresero (il sole cominciava già con i suoi raggi dorati a spargere il consueto e più o meno giustificato ottimismo -più meno che più - portato da ogni mattina di un nuovo giorno) pose al Sommo Profeta Gangarozzo il seguente quesito di natura amorosa e sentimentale:
"Maestro... come mai quando due pessone si incontrano per motivi sentimentali, o segssuali anche, si cerca di dimostrare all'altra o all'altro (ma questo avviene solo nella fase dell'innamoramento iniziale, chè depo è il contrario) di stare provando per la prima volta certi sentimenti? Il concetto è riassutno nella frase "Come te nessuno mai", che è un libro o un film non mi arriòrdo. Cioè si cerca di far credere all'altra pessona che per la prima volta la propria anima si è legata in modo così intenso e irripetibile ad un'altra anima... un legame fatto di catene costituite da un materiale così prezioso e misterioso ed eterno al cui confronto l'oro è sudicio cartone di pizza. Perchè c'è questa cosa, o Maestro? Perchè si cerca di dare questo bollino di qualità ai propri sentimenti, cercando di dimostrare di non averli mai provati altrove e in altro tempo e con altra pessona?? Dichimi, o Maestro, sono tutto orecchie. E se c'era Bellu Ulus, il famoso disepolo làtrin lover, lui sarebbe stato tutto pìnna..."
Il Sommo Profeta Gangarozzo, dopo la rituale grattatina (la quale aveva anche provocato una significativa usura nel punto della tunica corrispondente) ai propri ormai uvapassiformi zebedei, così rispose:
"Vedi o Cazzone... vedete o miei discepoli, questo io vi dichi.
Ognuno, ogni pessona umana, in fondo in fondo, è consapevole della propria incontestabile inutilità e insignificanza esistenziale. Siamo tutti delle cose inutili e di questa inutilità cerchiamo di camuffare o combattere i segni evidenti in tanti modi: chi con il potere, chi con i soldi, chi con l'ostentazione della forza e la commissione di violenze, chi con l'attività seggsuale ossesivamente ripetuta, chi addirittura cercando di fare del bene e in altre maniere. Ora succede che la consapevolezza di questa inutilità, ad un certo punto, comincia a pesare nell'anima che, tra l'altro, si vede circondata da un corpo sempre più decadente e malconcio. Subentra così il desiderio di consapevolezza di essere, o essere stato, in vita, qualcosa di insostituibile ed eterno. E questa desiderata sensazione, tanto infondata quanto ridicola, non può che essere artificialmente costruita attraverso le parole di qualcun altro dal quale o dalla quale non si vogliono sentire altro che parole attestanti la natura irripetibile della nostra pessona e dei sentimenti che ci hanno legati all'altra pessona. In sostanza la pessona, qualsiasi pessona, vuole sentirsi dire "sei unico o unica" e "unico è il sentimento che ci lega". Che invece ad andare a verificare non è unico nemmeno per la nerchia: gli innamoramenti tutti uguali sono, e seguono un andamento molto più prevedibile della epidemia in corso. Sarebbe curioso, per capire il concetto, osservare la reazione di chi, uomo o donna, si sente dire dal partner : "Sai... ti amo come ho amato le altre pessone..." oppure "sai il nostro sentimento... il nostro amore è molto simile all'amore - grandissimo - che mi ha legata (o legato) a quello (o quella) di prima". Succederebbe un bbuddillino mentale e pissichico al confronto del quale i mari in tempesta di cui parlano le Sacre Scritture sono la Spiaggia della Maddalusa di Agrigendo. La pessona che si sente dire una cosa del genere diventerebbe come tigre nella foresta alla quale, durante il sonno, taluno va a porre sugli zebedei carboni ardenti. Perchè, cari discepoli, per quanto merdine possiamo essere, tutti vogliamo sentire le stesse palòre: che per qualcuno siamo insostituibili... che passeranno milioni di anni ed esploderanno pianeti e comete si ingropperanno le une con le altre, ma non accadrà mai nulla di lontanamente paragonabile a quel sentimento irripetibile di cui siamo stati protagonisti (nato invece in quel punto insignificante di quel pianeta invisibile in mezzo all'immensità dell'universo e durato più o meno quanto un mazzo di fiori recisi in un bicchiere d'acqua riposti).
Ora vi lascio, o discepoli. Anche perchè, con questa mascherina, mi sto accupàndo e poi, se ho pobblèmi, devo fare intervenire il Brusafièrro.
Un Grande Gnao. Andate in pace".
(Da: "Le predicazioni del Sommo Profeta Gangarozzo ai tempi del Carognavirus", Galilea, III sec. a.C.)
18 aprile 2020
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